Talking vs. Communicating

by John David Smith

This month we consider differences in communication style. In the West, we tend to be direct in our communication, but in many other cultures, they are indirect. As a young missionary, I remember walking away from several conversations where I was confused as to what just happened and what was truly said. I am certain that the local person I was talking to had the same reaction to our conversation.

We were talking to each other and using the same language, but communication goes way deeper than the mere use of words. It also includes the following: direct and indirect communication styles, relationships, saving face, and task-oriented vs. people-oriented styles.

At the beginning of our ministry on the field, locals must have thought, as they saw me walk by at a fast pace each day, “This American is going to die young.” I was always in a hurry and had many things to do! For them, people were more important than tasks. When I did stop to talk with them, I was very much to the point and direct. They were more intuitive and had a “between the lines” approach to communication. The problem was not only did I not know the “between the lines” stuff, I was oblivious that it even existed.  

“Saving face” is another reality most westerners do not understand. It goes way beyond mere embarrassment to the point of preserving one’s status in the society after a mistake has been made. In our direct, western approach to conflict resolution we can do much harm to this aspect of their existence. 

The point in this discussion is not to offer an exhaustive answer to all of these things . . . they are learned over a long process of adapting to a new culture.

Thank the Lord for ChangeMakers who are ministering to the culture where they know how to communicate well. God bless you.